The Accomplice

Raj just happened to visit India and he just happened to be pulled into this mess. He awkwardly sat there chewing the saffron laddoos and cursing his luck.
It was his first time and everyone had conveniently forgotten to brief him. He just had to improvise.

He nervously flipped his cell, desperately wishing for it to ring. But it didn't. In fact it never did. He had often contemplated of switching to a prepaid, but he was too lazy. He had the same phone plan since his college days. Not that it would have helped him today.

"Hi, I am Priya. You must be Ram", a voice broke the melancholy silence of the smallish room.

It was interesting how he got into the situation, in the first place. But before that, you need to know who Ram is and how he was connected to Simran. And how they knew Raj.

Ram and Raj were college rivals turned best buddies. They first met in an inter-varsity tennis tournament, which incidentally got washed off due to heavy rain with their scores hanging undecided at 7-6 6-7 6-6.

The next several circuits saw them frequently dueling in finals. They weren't great but were good enough to be varsity champs. And finally, tournaments later, they partnered and won some memorable league and club championships together.

Having realized they weren't awesome enough to be pro-players, they did the next best thing. They joined investment banks. Ram with his charisma and flair went into FX sales and Raj with his obsession with numbers went into quantitative research.

Ram first met Simran at Raj's birthday and it was love at first sight. He was drawn towards her gentle intelligence and her adorable smile. And she was fascinated by his wit and humor. But it was Raj who brought them together since each of them was too shy to make the first move.

Just when everything seemed to be going well, Ram's mom had something else planned. You see, Ram's family came from a proud lineage of devout south Indian Brahmins and his mom aspired for a religious, well cultured, Tamil speaking vegan Brahmin bride for her only son.

Simran, a Punjabi Sikh, was an outlier to the bold and outspoken Sikh community, which had a history of strong warriors, bred on tandoori-chicken and mutton.

So just when Ram and Raj were visiting India, and Raj had decided to stay at Ram's house in the heart of chennai; Ram's mom had arranged her son's meet up with the daughter of their family friend. Ram would go to their house, meet her in person, and if all went well, get married in the fall.

Obviously Ram was taken by surprise. He needed more time and didn't know how to confront her. He gently obliged and accepted her request. But just an hour before the meet up, Ram panicked and asked Raj to help him, yet again.

And that's why Raj was here, visiting the Subramanyams. Priya's mom and Dad were out shopping, to give them privacy. And Priya had never seen Ram.

Raj sat their wondering what he should do next. The plan had seemed so simple at first. He goes in pretending he was Ram, bores the hell outta the girl and makes her reject him.

But right now he was nervous. Partly guilt-ridden but more so on his lack of experience on such situations. Ram despised marriages. He had conveniently rejected all the previous matchmaking efforts of his mom. Had he had just been to one, It would have definitely helped him today, Raj thought.

"Hi Priya, I am Raj, I mean..Ram. It's a pleasure to meet you", Raj replied in his fake South Indian accent.

Priya was dressed smartly in a red sari. He scanned her top to toe. He would easily give her an 8/10. She was definitely pretty.

"You seem a bit nervous. I am not going to eat you", Priya remarked jokingly.

"And you aren't? I mean.. It's a bit awkward. Isn't it? The entire situation. The next 15 mins will decide our next 15 years", Raj replied, now excitedly.

"I have met a few prospective grooms, so this feels more routine than awkward. But why just 15? I didn't quite get it", Priya asked confused.

"Statistically, the odds for us to stay together diminishes exponentially when we reach our 40s. After which, you can't be certain. I once wrote a paper on it", Raj replied proudly.

"Oh. Ok. Uhm..Interesting . What else do you do apart from work?", Priya asked.
Raj could see she was already disinterested. The 15 year comment had shook her perception of him.

"Well the usual stuff. Philosophy clubs, Physics council, Mathematics societies, Astronomy etc", Raj replied, careful enough not to include his other interests of Tennis, Diving, Trekking and Skiing.

"Wow. Umm, fascinating. I like to jog, travel and watch movies", Priya replied.

"What do you think of pets? I love dogs but Mom never let me keep one", Priya said.

"Oh dogs. I am a bit allergic to them. I start sneezing everytime they come close. I love cats though", Raj lied. He had always wanted a German Shepherd.

There was a brief pause and she slowly continued.

"Ram, I bet you are a great guy. Don't take this the wrong way. I... don't think, you and I, will ever work. There is a reason why I had to say "No" to all the earlier guys. I don't want to be married just because I fear growing old alone. I want a partner who complements me and makes me feel alive. And someone somewhere is out there for both of us, who completes us. We just have to wait a bit longer. I am sorry. Really sorry", Priya replied with a trickle in her eyes.

"Priya, it's OK. I understand and I am not upset. I admire you and wish you the best. Take care", Raj replied and bid her goodbye.

8 months later, Ram got engaged to Simran. They had managed to convince their parents. Ram's toned personality and Simran's petiteness had definitely helped the cause. They first got married in Chandigarh in the bride's traditions, and were getting married in Chennai in the Hindu tradition.

Raj had accompanied Ram's mom to the mall for some last minute shopping. That's when he met her again. Priya was standing near the florist.

"Hi Ram. How are you. Congrats on the wedding", Priya asked.
"Hi Priya, I am doing good. Long time", Raj replied back.

Before Ram's mom could interrupt them, Raj winked at her and asked her if she could go on without him.
She smiled and left them.

"Cofee? ", Raj asked.
"Sure, why not", Priya replied, and they entered the nearest Coffee Bean.

"You seem quite different since the last time we met", Priya said.
"Formal settings make me a bit nervous. So what's going on. Have you found your Mr Right", Raj said.

"Not yet, but someday", Priya replied back with a smile.
"Priya, I need to confess something. Promise me you won't shout, scream or throw the piping hot Mocha on me", Raj said with a faint smile.

"Hmm, confess.. Ok go on with it. You have my word".

" I .. I am not Ram. That day, Ram asked me take his place. You see he was in love with Simran, the girl Ram just got married to, and he wanted to buy some time before confronting his parents. I am sorry that I lied to you"

"Wow, amazing. I admire your friendship. If you are not Ram, who are you?"

"I am Raj, and it's a pleasure to meet you, finally as me. So friends?", Raj smiled and shook Priya's hands.

"And all your answers. Like your insane hobbies and the 15 year rule. Were they also lies?", Priya asked curiously.

"Wow, you still remeber. Well, not all. I love dogs. I love travel, adventure sports and movies, but I am also a big nerd. And the 15 year rule is absolutely true. Did I tell you I wrote a paper on it". And they laughed.

Had our story ended here, I know you would be disappointed. But it doesn't, so cheer up.

Love finds you when you least expect. And when it hits you, there is no feeling as wonderful and bright. That evening, a new story was being written over Cofee. A story about Raj and Priya.

A week later, Raj proposed and Priya accepted. And they got married 5 months later. Raj's mom was obviously elated.

Priya was delighted later when Raj's paper got rejected on grounds of insufficient proof and dismal optimism. These days Raj spends more time walking Fluffy, their pet Terrier, and playing golf with Ram.

And everyone lived happily ever after.



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